Sunday

Today was a beautiful day, the rain last night washed away the humidity and the skies have been bright blue and clear all day. Today Andrew preached an impacting message on the Holy Spirit, the kind of message that makes you long for the time you remember being close to Him and when you experienced His love and power. I want to be near to God like that again.

Later, we spent the afternoon, with a simple meal and time together, only missing a huge piece, well, actually 4 huge pieces, Sam, Heidi, Ana and Zach. Sunday is the only day I feel I have permisson to just be. The day I don't have to do anything else. I love Sundays. Tonight it is quiet, everyone is gone and I am sitting alone on my deck. The evening is cool, the sun is just setting. The end of a really nice day.

Where does my help come from?

Lord, these have been some of the hardest days I have experienced in years. I do not really understand what you are doing. We are being hit on every side. Yesterday Herm had such a down day, he just broke down and cried. Father we need some relief here. Please come and rescue!
The church is in finiacial destress, Herm is stressed and his heart just cannot take this. Heather is not well. We are pressed at every side.
I have learned in the last few months, you cannot trust in family, you cannot trust in human strength or ablity. I can only trust in you LORD, I am laying it all out before you and trusting that you will set these things right. I need a miracle NOW!

You said come unto me all you who are weak and heavy ladden and you will find rest for your soul.
You said ask and it shall be given to you.
Seek and you will find.
You said your yoke is easy and your burden is light.
You said that you have given us everything we need for Godliness and Holiness.
Call unto me and I will answer

I am broken

I have no one and no where to turn but to you. Speak to my heart Lord I need to hear you voice and know your thought. Come Holy Spirit.

Reflections

Thursday morning, just past the 1/2 point of the week, it which means that a few days off are in sight once again. Add to that it is the 15th of July today which means summer is racing by quickly.

I am so looking forward to seeing Heidi and Sam, Ana and Zach in a few weeks. I have been thinking about walking on the beach, and hiking last night I checked out Grouse Morn National Park. It is beautiful so a day or two of fun there will be in order.

Today the fire inspector is coming to check out Hannah House, for our annual licensing inspection, then I have only one more inspection to book, the dreaded Public Health, and since they don't give any warning of when they are coming, when I send the letter we had better be ready. Anyway by the end of next week I should be just about ready for the October licensing date, finished before holidays and just in time to relax with the ones I love.

Encouragment

today was a encouraging, a good staff meeting filled with lots of forward motion.
I do feel like I am on a bit of a rollercoaster this week. Up one day Down the next.
I was awake last night and realize that I really feel greived, it's a long story. I am so troubled by some situations in my extended family and realized at 4 am that I am not bitter, not angry, not jealous, not resentful I am grieved. So at best I am greatful to the Holy Spirit, thankful that when you cry out to him in the night he answers, that directs my thoughts and knows my heart. I am so greatful that in the end man does not judge, jury and execute rather God does, and at least He is fair and just. I know that if cannot trust anyone else I can at least and at best trust in HIM and I do.
Thank you Lord for your love and longsuffering I am so sorry for the times I grieve you. Forgive me for not knowing and understanding your heart for me and you great love.

discouragment

You know how it feels, when you are doing pretty well and then the rug gets pulled out from under you. Well that is how my week is feeling.
I am discouraged by stuff, troubled by relationships and well I just want to eat. Wow I hate that about me, it is just so demoralizing to be so weak.
I hope I can stay away from the food and have a better attitude tomorrow.

Goals

I am stating my goal to lose a total of 10 lbs before I go on holidays, currently I am at a 6.4 loss. So this will require me to stay in my points, and to watch it closely. I plan on working to stay at 23 points per day this week and walking to gain 2 points per day for 5 days. WW is slow but steady, I will not give up! My real goal is to get the lbs off, get healthy and stay that way!! No more rebounding up and down 20 or 30 lbs. I am so tired of the taking it off, it would be more worth it to work at keeping it off instead.

I see a whole bunch of salad, and fresh fruit in my future:)

Canada Day

Happy Birthday Canada, what a beautiful day, I am sitting on the deck, with a glass of wine and chilling out. More days like this would be great.

I was thinking again today that without the Lord in my life I don't think I would make it. I am so greatful for His love and provision giving wisdom, compassion understanding and direction at just the right moments.

I am truely blessed, when I was walking with Herm today I just was so greatful that he is still here with me to enjoy the day and to share in the journey.

Thank you again Lord:)

Writing

Today I need to finish writing a business plan for Hannah House and my admin is finishing the operational policy which we have been working on for the past several months. All to get ready for my presentation to the Region and for our licensing updates.

So a full day, I am praying for the Spirit of God to come over my mind and thoughts and give me supernatural power and ability to write clearly and for the Lord to give his favour on my life and words when I present on Wednesday, for the favour of God and the favour of Man. Lord I need you! Come Holy Spirit Come.

Saturday

Went to WW today, and only lost .2 lbs! is that even a registered loss? It seems like nothing, but at least my weight did not go up.

After I went and used my mother's day gift cerificate to Home Sense to by a new set of sheets and bedding. It is so beautiful, I love the freshness, so I am off to have a shower and be nice and clean for my nice clean sheets.

One More Day

Well I did another day of walking and another day of keeping in my WW points. When I weighed myself this morning I was disappointed that I have not lost any weight:( I guess when I have done this routine for weeks in a row with no results then I will have something to complain about.

Any way seems like it will take quantity not just quality! So as they say keep on walking:)

Day Two

Well, I did it! Up at 5:55 am and out the door to walk and run with my sweetie this morning, completing about 5 km. It is a sad testament to your physical condition when your partner, who is 9 months post op from major heart surgery walks and runs so fast that you cannot keep up!
It could be that his being 6'4 means his legs are a lot longer but likely I am just not that in shape.

The best part of this morning was when I got home, put on the coffee and caught up on my chronological bible reading. It is encouraging to know that God knows exactly what is going on, in fact I read this morning that He searches the world looking for people who have a heart fully turned to Him, those who desire to do His will. I want to be one of the ones He sees.
Lord give me a heart after you, and willingness to obey you.

New Perspective

Monday, a full day at work. I have decided to really work at counting my points for WW and along with it to start to walk/run (say the run losely) during the week days. So today, I came home from work and put on my oh so tight walking clothes and hit the road. The best part is now after I have had time to catch my breath and take a break, have supper and a shower. I love how I feel after it is just getting into the groove and loving the exercise.

Any way one day at a time. So I will keep you informed. The other thing I want to try to do is to write in my blog every day. I am not sure which one will be harder?

It is a beautiful night, Heidi if you are reading this I bought a pot of lavendar yesterday and planted it in a larger pot on my deck, just a little bit of you every time I look at it or smell the fragrance.

So for all of you who gave up on my writing in this blog, never say never.

When you don't understand?

These past few months have been tough, you know what is like when you are going along just fine, and then out of the blue: someone's who you love and trust blind sides you. Just like that you have to catch your breath and try figure out what that means to you and to the realtionship.

I am trying to work things out in my mind and heart, determined not to be bitter. Life is far to short for that. And working to deal with the hurt and betryal I feel.

This is what I do know, God is bigger than this hurt, I have a husband, children and grandchildren for which I am more than greatful. In time the hurt will ease.