Keeping my Heart at Rest:

"Do not worry about anything, BUT PRAY AND ASK GOD FOR EVERYTHING YOU NEED.ALWAYS GIVING THANKS. AND GOD'S PEACE, WHICH IS SO GREAT WE CANNOT UNDERSTAND IT , WILL KEEP YOUR HEARTS AND MINDS IN CHRIST JESUS.
Philippians 4:6-7

I am a classic worrier, I can worry about everything. Worry is stealthy, formidable and a sneaky enemy. My worry starts out as an acceptable human response, as soon as I give it room to grow in my mind it grows to occupy ever available space; kind of like the Ivy I planted from a small shoot that overtook my garden.

When I worry it makes me focus on my problems instead of God. Worry grows when I falsely believe that I can control the circumstance in my world, instead of recognizing that the God who loves me is in control of everything.

It is not easy for me but more and more I am learning that the way to eliminate worry is to pray. Praying constantly aligns my concerns with God's perspective. For me praying is more than asking God for help, it is surrender, worship and giving thanks. My focus changes, I start to see God's hand, feel His presence. Prayer is a personal reminder of God's love and faithfulness in my life. It brings comfort, hope, strength, encouragement and peace. It changes my mind about what is happening in my world.

There is not enough room for peace and worry to coexist in my mind. There is nothing passive about guarding my mind. It is a Greek military term, it paints a picture of a stronghold being protected by a vigilant garrison of watchmen, when I pray about my worries, God defeats the worry and replaces it with His peace, His peace is the watchmen over my mind and heart. Kind of like a guard standing at the door keeping my mind and heart free and clear of the clutter and cloudiness of worry.

So if you wonder what you can say, what can you do for our family during this challenging season, consider praying for us, and asking God to guard our minds and hearts in Christ Jesus.

What a Day

I know we always say that "what a day" but today tops any that I had at work in the last few months.

To List

Simplex Grinnell annual alarm system inspection

Simplex Grinnell annual fire extiguishers inspection

The local fire marshalls annual inspection

Jim the electrician telling me that the magnetic fire doors that are broken are faulty wiring done by the the boiler installation crew

Simplex Grinnell telling me to call the electrician who then told me to call direct energy about the warranty on the boiler install

Still no fixed doors.

Everyone waiting for someone else to fix the doors

Still waiting

NO ONE FIXING THE DOORS TODAY

Orkin pest control lots of activity on the outside bait stations...anyone who knows me "creeped out"

More you need to call, and then call them, this is not our problem.

1.5 hours on hold waiting for a fix to the problem

two evaluations only 15 more to go this week

Only two hires to do this week one full time and one part time

finally a surpirse full week of work to complete an application for Homelessness Perdiem application which if we are lucky we will not need as we will recieve the RFP funding that took us Weeks to write.

Oh on a positive note we caught the mouse who found his way in our house, lets hope he has no ffamily with him.

On days like this when I have a moment to think about it, I just long for home and an end to the work day.

Hoping for a quieter and less hectic tomorrow.

Where Does My Help Come From?

On Thursday June 9th, Heidi had her first Chemo treatment. We have been talking about it for weeks, building up to it with research on what to expect, waiting for the first of the 8 treatments to be done, so that she would move from anxious anticipation to actually knowing how her body would respond to the drugs.

Heidi choose to go through the first few rounds with just herself and Sam, she just wanted to make sure she could handle it and know what to expect without anyone else around to observe.

She has always been fiercely independent, and strongly courageous. Even still chemo is not for wusses. Today marks day 3 since treatment and the begining of the slow climb back up to feeling better.

We talked yesterday about No pain No gain and how the last few days have given that statment a whole new meaning!

I am reminded and drawn back to the Psalms 121

"I lift my eyes to the hills- where does my help come from?

My help comes from the LORD, the Maker of heaven and earth.

He will no let your foot slip-

he who watches over you will not slumber;

indeed he who watches over Israel will neither slumber nor sleep.

The LORD watches over you-

the LORD is your shade at your right hand;

the sun will not harm you by day, nor the moon by night.

he LORD will keep you from all harm-

he will watch over your life;

the LORD will watch over your coming and going both now and forevermore.

Thank you LORD

Great Kids make Great Mom's

Mothers day weekend, I was out this morning and when I came home Heidi, had arranged to have a friend drop off a special moms day gift, I found it tucked in between the screen and the glass on the patio door. I saw Heidi's writing and immediately looked around hoping that by chance she would be around the corner accompanying the gift. No Heidi but she had taken the time to pick a beautiful bracelet and send it by special delivery. I love it and enjoyed wearing it all the rest of the day.

Gifts aside, it made me think that being a great mom requires great kids, really! I know I can get all mushy and see through rose coloured glasses but the truth is that, no matter how many rough years and impossible situations come along, when you see the potential, gifts, and you just know how much you love and believe in your kids they just shine. There are hard times, really hard times, but the hard times become easier and they have an end. When you keep on believing in the children given by God, and have the faith and perseverance to keep believing in them no matter what, when you pray more than talk and then pray some more. You see God make them into incredible people.

I am blessed with children Heidi, Andrew and Heather, I love and respecteach as adults, blessed by great friendships with each of my children. Blessed to love and respect each of the life partners they have chosen Sam, Rochelle and Kyle. The icing on the cake is Ana, Zack and Eli, having grandkids is such a delight, a joy that is not easily explained: each one is a part of our inheritance in the Lord a gift greater than any other.

So when you remember mom dont forget the great kids who make truely great mothers.

When all is said and done, I really want to be one:)

Just came back from a long relaxing walk through the woods, sometimes being alone can be noisy, my thoughts coming in so loud and clear that I can't enjoy the moment, not today, today I could think clearly. The sun is shining, I am far away from work, the trillium flowers are blowing I get to just be in the present. I thought I might get lost going through the woods, but I followed the path laid out and found my way back home to Heidi's.

My walk reminded me of last summers family trip to Newfie, long walks, lots of laughs and plenty of discovery. This picture shows the point near our cottage, when the tide is high, but if you wait awhile and time it just right you can walk out on the rocks and right around the point to the next beach our special spot with breath taking views and just the right amount of quiet.

The path we are on right now reminds me that there are great things around the bend, sights unseen, warm sunny spots and quiet walks, I just need to wait for the Lord, for His timing, and for Him to clear the path ahead.

Those who wait upon the Lord shall renew their strength, my prayer for our whole family.

Okay Then

It has been so good to be here and to see Heidi, Sam. Ana and Zach. I know they will handle what ever comes their way.

That they have the heart and ear of the Most High God!
That they walk by faith and not by sight.
That they have a solid foundation.
That they are vulnerable not to the C word.
That Sam loves and cares for Heidi with incredible passion.
That Ana and Zach are seeing the Lord through their Mom and Dad every day.
That they are so blessed by a community of friends who are supporting them with prayer and meals.
That Heidi is amazingly living in the moment allowing God to strengthen her every day.
That we are blessed to all be completely held in our Lord's hands as a whole family.

God is good all the time!

Spring in Abbotsford?

Today was a quiet and restful Sunday, minus church ( which Zach was pleased about) and out for breakfast at ABC. I really missed Herm today, not being along with us, so we talked about you instead ( I know you are reading this:) Seems so weird being here without my other half. Ana and Zach each picked out another web kin, Zach a wombat named Tiny Tooth, and Ana a sheep dog named, Misty.

Went to Home Sense after breakfast, Heidi found some neat bedroom lamps and there are a few other items we will pick up for her space later in the week.

I read most of the afternoon, and finally dragged myself out for a walk late in the afternoon. It was cold, whoever said that spring is way earlier in BC than Ontario probably thought that no one would check up on it! I keep hoping for some sun and warmth but the weekly forecast is none to promising.

Rainy Days

This morning although the sky is grey, for the moment the rain has stopped. When they say it rains a lot in this part of the world they are not kidding!

Today we are off to train for the 5KM walk run that we registered in for next Sunday. I think Heidi and I may be staying back and doing a pared down training closer to home. We will definitely be out walking this week rain or shine so we are ready for the big day next week.

Waiting

I am not great at waiting, as a matter of fact I have very little patients or waiting ability. In spite of that I cannot change anything about the current state of affairs. No matter how much I want to hurry things along and know what the outcome of Heidi's lumpectomy and what may be coming around the bend with her breast cancer... we wait, for Dr.s appointments, pathology reports...etc.

There are a few things I am doing while I am waiting. I am praying, praying moment by moment for this to be the only surgery needed, for clear margins around the tumor and for no cancer in the lymph nodes. I am praying that chemo will not be necessary and that this is a blip on the radar.

The other thing I do a lot of when I am in wait mode is clean, I realize as do my daughters, and daughter in law :) that I clean when I am anxious so this translates into clean fridges and cupboards where ever I am staying..in this case Heidi's house. I wish someone was cleaning at my house!