Anything but Strong

Anything but strong, this is my reality today! I am discouraged, disheartened and depleted.

Today just caught me total off guard, started okay....a few work issues that I did not want to deal with on my day off, but okay they needed to be done. Add to that car repair bills totalling $2500 and let's just say well the cheese has slid off the cracker.

If I am strong when I am weak...then that's the good news. My discouragement is weakness for sure but I don't feel much strength right now.

The worst piece for me is how I stop hearing anything but the negative when the world crowds in. Car trouble, money issues, being misunderstood, family with job issues, we all have our own list of stuff that discourages.

Home alone tonight taking time to think and process, to ask forgiveness and rest. I will rest in the Lord and the power of His might. And tomorrow will be a new day. The things that happened today will teach me how to be stronger when the winds of discouragement blow. Because I will not give up and I will not give in to the temptation to stop changing and growing, I will surrender to the love of my Lord and seek Him.

The Mystery of Strength

As I have been thinking, fasting, praying this last week, these thoughts have begun to root in my heart.

Strength is so often not what I perceive. In fact it is often the opposite.

Strength is Waiting on the Lord
Strength is Putting off the old and Putting on the new
Strength is submitting to the Lord's discipline
Strength is being Transformed
Strength is forgetting what is behind and pressing into what is ahead
Strength is Trusting God, and releasing the things in my life I most love
Strength is The evidence of things hoped for

Yesterday I lingered in worship, what a blessing to worship and draw near to God, to sense the touch of the Holy Spirit, to hear the calling of Jesus. I felt the Lord speak to me to encourage my heart.

Telling me that He was healing my heart, physically and emotionally, that He was changing my heart and giving me the heart of a Lion! ( I am not making this up!) That I will be strong, bold and fearless, and like a lion who watches over his pride I would watch over the ones in my care!

Wow, I humbly receive. In my heart I thought Really? But I will not doubt I will trust Him!

This search for strength is taking me to places that I did not anticipate and I am blown away. Such a journey, it just makes me smile. I am trusting in different ways becoming strong in Him and the power of His might. This truth is such a small seed in my heart, it taking root and my prayer is Lord root me deeply in you:)

"My starting point is that we are already there. We cannot attain the presence of God because we are totally in the presence of God. What is absent is our awareness"     
 Richard Rhor,  Everything Belongs

"Once you find the trail you are faced with this sobering truth- in order to go on it you must let go of what brought you here. You cannot go on without turning you back on the very things that brought you to this place."  
Mike Yacconelli

The Joy Of The Lord Is My Strength

One week of clean eating down, a few headaches but for the most part not bad. Drinking my green juice and beginning to feel the energy level rise. However eating clean is only one of the moves to strength that I am feeling this year.

I am reading the Bible through this year, it will be my third time reading it from cover to cover. It blesses me and amazes me that God speaks so clearly today through His word. I love hearing His voice and through the stories He has so beautifully laid out for us. In Psalms it says " Your word is a Lamp for my feet and a Light for my Path" That is what I am seeking.

In my desire for seeking God at this stage of my life, I find that I am leaning in so that I don't miss anything. I am in a space of considerable transition in my life right now. In fact I feel like the whole of me is in transition. Body, Soul, Mind and Spirit. I am longing for a knowing in my heart and mind an understanding, of deeply knowing who I am and who I am created to be. I feel the stir in my heart for all things to come together, I am resting it, waiting on it, dreaming about it, thinking about it all the time and feeling it, almost like a groaning in my spirit.

This week Heidi sent me an link for Bethel Music 'You Make Me Brave' I listened once and then twice, my heart was overwhelmed by His presence.  I have bought it on iTunes and have it playing on my apple Tv right now. It makes my heart sing. Worshiping is so amazing, I love to Worship my Lord and King. It stirs up a passion in my heart for total abandon to Him.

I am sensing a call to deep commitment to circle some things that are on my heart for my family and community in prayer and fasting. It is a huge challenge for me to fast and it makes me double check if and why I am feeling that call. I will begin a 5 day Daniel Fast this Monday-Friday. Praying that God will hear my heart cry and answer, "Call unto me and I will answer you and show you great and mighty things that you do not know." Jeremiah 3

Journey to Strength

Day 2 of 2015, and as it would happen I have been sick for the past week!

It would have been easy to say no to some of the disciplines I planned to include in my 2015 Journey to Strength....but I did not say no! I got up got on my woolies and went for a walk in the wind and weather. I can't say I loved it but I am determined to move forward.

I have put a few rocks in place for success, a plan to read through the bible in 2015. This will be my third time reading the bible from cover to cover and I am excited to see what God will speak to my heart during those readings this year.

Walking for 30-50 min a day is something that I have been doing for a while, I must say I have been a bit slack during the last 6 weeks but the shoes have been on two days this week so I am on the way back to this discipline.

I have spoken with a personal trainer and I am hopeful to have a plan in place in the next few weeks to... in a word 'kick my butt' into gear.

I have a clean eating plan in place and am ready to go with enjoying the good food that really feeds you body and soul.

Most of all I am praying and asking that the Lord will lead me and guide me into quantifiable growth,  body, soul, mind and spirit. I believe with all my heart He will and am hoping for a strong and sustainable year of growth.

One last thing...I was going to journal more so I guess this is a start at that too:)